My Wife, My Valentine

I remember the very first Valentine’s card I sent to my fiancée (now my wife), from Chennai to Bangalore. To my surprise, I received the same card back! For a moment, I thought she had simply returned mine. But it turned out—we had both chosen the exact same card for each other, even though we were miles apart.

It was actually a friend who first explained what Valentine’s Day was all about. Back then, it wasn’t as popular in India. He encouraged me to send a card to my fiancée. Ironically, he had his own misconceptions. He believed Valentine’s Day was a mandatory celebration for all Christians in love! I think that idea still exists in many minds in India. Perhaps that’s why we continue to see protests from so-called “guardians” of our culture.

Today, Valentine’s Day has become a full-blown commercial festival. Companies mint money through cards and gifts, and malls and restaurants capitalize on the day with themed décor and offers that attract the young. February 14th has become a day when many express their love, some hearts break, and many youngsters get caught up in emotional highs. Sadly, we see a sharp decline in such expressions of affection once people get married.

But the real Valentine is not someone who shows romance only on special days and indifference on others. After 13 years of marriage and 3 years of courtship, Valentine’s Day means something much deeper to me.

What VALENTINE Means to Me

V – Very Important Person
There is no one we are more intimately connected with than our spouse—because God Himself brings this person into our life as a partner. For each of us, God has chosen a special VIP to make us complete. Who could be more important than our spouse?
My wife, my Valentine, is a Very Important Person to me.

A – Available for My Needs
Eve was made for Adam, and Adam for Eve, to be available for each other. Too often, we make ourselves available for the world and are least present at home. It’s good to be there for work, friends, and others—but our VIP needs us too.
My wife, my Valentine, is always available for my needs.

L – Loves Me In Spite Of
We may not like everything about our spouse, but our calling is to love despite their weaknesses. Today, many choose to walk away instead of working through challenges. Marriage is not about two perfect people, but two imperfect people being perfected by a perfect God.
My wife, my Valentine, loves me in spite of my flaws.

E – Encourages Me
Words of encouragement strengthen relationships. Harsh or sarcastic remarks can leave deep wounds. We all need encouragement, especially when things go wrong. Standing by each other during failures is what builds a lasting bond.
My wife, my Valentine, encourages me—always.

N – Never Pretends
Marriage becomes rich when we’re transparent with each other. We shouldn’t have to pretend or hide our true selves. It’s okay to be real, even messy. No need for masks, fancy clothes, or special perfumes.
My wife, my Valentine, never pretends with me.

T – Trusts Me
Trust is foundational in marriage. Constant suspicion can turn the relationship into a nightmare. Trust makes us vulnerable, yes—but also deeply connected. Because my wife trusts me, I strive never to break that trust.
My wife, my Valentine, trusts me.

I – Inspires Me
Following the world’s idea of romance can make marriage boring over time. But true inspiration comes from knowing someone is praying for you, cheering you on. My wife’s presence when I speak in public gives me strength and confidence.
My wife, my Valentine, inspires me.

N – Nurtures the Relationship
Every relationship needs intentional nurturing. That means making time for one another. As Christians, we nurture our marriage by spending time together in God’s presence. There’s no substitute for it.
My wife, my Valentine, nurtures our relationship.

E – Endures Even During Tough Times
In the early years of marriage, as students, we served as house parents for 16 street children in one of Karnataka’s most backward districts. We walked 2 km just to fetch drinking water. During that season, my wife had three miscarriages. She endured it all with grace, never blaming me.
My wife, my Valentine, endured hardship with love and strength.

Today, I truly thank God for the suitable helper He gifted me. And I want to honour her by being a great Valentine in return.