Challenging Change

Change may be mildly unsettling or feel like a total makeover—but change is inevitable. I had to face it and take on the challenge. Being equipped to deal with it made all the difference in my life.

“Change is the new constant,” they say. Routine brings comfort because it is predictable and easy to handle without much thought. On the other hand, change can range from mildly unsettling to life-altering. Some changes come naturally through stages of life, while others—such as illness, death, or loss of a job—completely shift one’s perspective. Some take it in stride with an “all is well” attitude, while others feel as though it is the end of the road.

Whatever the changes may be, it is always better to be equipped, because change is inevitable. The uncertainty associated with change causes fear. My mantra for change is simple: “Fear not.” Change signifies growth and the opening of new dimensions in life. The difference between a positive change and a negative change lies in our perspective.

I once read: “A man marries a woman hoping she never changes. A woman marries a man hoping to change him.” The truth is, change is constant. She inevitably changes as childbirth and age take their toll. He too cannot remain the same—whether she changes him or not. Marriage itself signals change, both individually and together. The key is to become equipped to handle the change and celebrate the difference!

Change in Work and Family Life

With volatile job markets, employment is no longer secure. A new job may require relocation, which often brings major stress for the family. Adjustments in language, culture, and lifestyle can make the transition difficult.

When we moved to Mumbai from Bengaluru, our children wouldn’t play with the other kids in our building for almost six months. They didn’t understand the rules of the games and struggled with the Hindi language. Once, my son clung to me at the school gate until his teacher arrived, because the watchman had scolded him in Hindi—a language he didn’t understand. To help them adjust, I took them everywhere with me and encouraged them to play with other children. After a year, they managed on their own. Time truly brings healing during change.

Neighbours were kind, but distant. I realized I had to make the first move. So whenever I met someone in the lift, I initiated small conversations. Slowly, acquaintances turned into friendships. Joining classes or clubs also helps, especially for homemakers. I made friends with other mothers while waiting at the school gates. They shared valuable information—from good doctors to the best local shops. We even learned Marathi by reading illustrated children’s books of familiar stories.

One thing I’ve realized: if we connect, people connect. We need to be the change.

Preparing Children for Change

As parents, we face daily changes and must prepare our children for them. Infants, for example, find new teeth, foods, or sounds stressful. I remember my daughter crying the first time she turned over! She resisted change at first but eventually adjusted—and sometimes even enjoyed it. Children, like adults, love routine and predictability.

That’s why anticipating change and introducing it early helps. When our daughter was a year old, we moved her cot into another room. I was upset, even cried, while she slept soundly! Often it is parents’ fear, not the child’s, that prevents smooth transitions. Introducing change boldly is key.

Teenage years are another season of radical change—physical, mental, social, and spiritual. Parents who anticipate this phase can cope better. Read up on current youth culture so you don’t feel outdated in front of your teen. My mother prepared me for physical and emotional changes with open conversations—often in the kitchen. That became our Seat of Learning. I still believe the best way to prepare kids is to share honestly from our experiences.

Facing Life’s Hardest Changes

They say, “Death is the only thing in life that comes with 100% guarantee.” But what about the conditions leading up to it? A major diagnosis can feel as devastating as death itself. Yet, it is part of life. Let friends and family support you. Find spiritual strength. Don’t fight it alone.

I recently lost my cousin to cancer. She showed incredible resilience, her smile remaining sweet despite her suffering. Her courage taught me that while questions and grief flood the heart, life does go on. Memories become dearer, and faith gives us strength to survive.

Challenging Change: Practical Steps

Since change is inevitable, we must learn to face it, embrace it, and grow through it.

1. Anticipate Change: Read, research, and talk to people who’ve been through similar situations. Remember—you are not alone. Connect with others.

2. Accept Change: Resistance makes life harder. Acceptance softens the blow and prevents bitterness. As the Serenity Prayer says:

   “God grant me the serenity
   to accept the things I cannot change;
   courage to change the things I can;
   and wisdom to know the difference.”
   – Reinhold Niebuhr

3. Connect with Change: See it as a door to new opportunities. Remember—Fear Not!

4. Communicate: Share your fears, seek help, and talk it out. Often, someone else has gone through the same thing. Sharing halves the burden.

Author: Ms. Sarah Kunder is a homemaker living in Mumbai with her family.