Father or Farther

I’m reminded of a Father’s Day card that my second son, Ankith, gave me a few years ago when he was just six years old. He lovingly created a special card for me — but instead of writing father, he mistakenly spelled it as farther.

Just one extra “r” changed the entire meaning. Yet, as I reflected on it, the card communicated a powerful truth — many fathers gradually grow farther and further away from their children.

In our culture, many men leave the responsibility of parenting primarily to mothers, believing that their role is only to provide financially.

More Than Just a Provider

Yes, fathers are called to provide — but provision goes far beyond finances.

A father is meant to provide:

• Emotional support

• Intellectual support

• Physical support

• Spiritual guidance

Men have a unique and essential role in parenting. When fathers are absent — physically or emotionally — parenting becomes unbalanced, often producing children who struggle with insecurity and identity.

My wife, Ciby, frequently reminds me to spend more intentional time with our boys. They are growing fast and they need my presence and my investment in their lives.

Why Do Men Drift Away?

Why do so many men prioritize career over children?
Perhaps because men often derive their identity and significance from their work.

However, a successful career cannot compensate for failure at home.

Are we simply to father children and then hand over the responsibility to the mothers?
No — being a father is a God-given calling that requires active involvement.

Time Is the Most Valuable Gift

Childhood is short, and once missed, it can never be regained.

If we fail to fill our children’s lives with:

• Warm memories

• Joyful moments

• Godly character

• Guidance during their most formative years

…we may spend the rest of our lives with regret.

The story of Anil and Ivan reminds us that careers must never blind us from what truly matters — our children.

The Cost of Absent Fathers

Research shows troubling outcomes of fatherlessness:

• Higher involvement in unhealthy and destructive behaviors

• Decline in academic performance

• Increased likelihood of bullying or rebellion

• Lack of emotional security

I recently counseled a young boy who was struggling with behavior and studies. He spent most of his time glued to online games and TV. The true therapy began when his father recognized his role and humbly re-engaged in his son’s life — and healing began.

Our Heavenly Father: The Perfect Example

When I call God my Heavenly Father, I cannot imagine what life would be like if He were absent.
God is always present — always near.

If He were too busy with the universe to care for me, where would I be?

Children are a gift and a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).
As earthly fathers, we are called to reflect God’s love, presence, and care.

Be the Father They Will Always Remember

If we want our children to be there for us tomorrow, we must be there for them today.

Let us strive to:

• Be present

• Be involved

• Be the fathers God calls us to be

Let’s not join the club of absentee fathers who missed the bus.
Instead, may we become fathers who walk closely with our children — not farther away.