Born in my Heart

The day my baby came into my life was unlike any other. The journey had been long—filled with anxiety, doubts, and questions. Little did I know, he had already been born in my heart.

As I watch my one-year-old son play happily with his toys, it’s hard to believe he’s only been home for two months. My world changed completely the day he came home, and yet, it now feels like the most natural thing in the world. It seems strange to think I’ve only been a parent for a couple of months. The doubts, questions, and apprehensions now seem so insignificant.

Starting the Journey

Our adoption journey began a few years ago. We always wanted to be parents. Our plan was to have a biological child first and adopt the second. But since we faced delays biologically, we began considering adoption earlier than expected.

Adoption has been part of Indian society for centuries, though traditionally, it involved adopting from within the family. It was only in the 1960s that families began adopting unrelated children, with professional child welfare agencies getting involved in the 1970s. Significant legal changes to adoption took place in the 1980s.

When we told people we were considering adoption, we received mixed reactions—surprise, sympathy (as if it was our last resort), or concern that we were “rushing into it.” But the most common reaction was one of admiration, praising our “sense of charity.” Strangely, this was the response that troubled me most.

I know they meant well. But I didn’t want my future child to be viewed as an act of charity. Did that mean he would be treated differently? People would say, “Because you’re doing such a good thing, you’ll now be blessed with your ‘own’ child.” But wasn’t this child going to be my own? Whose child would he be if I was going to be his mother?

Biological vs. Adoptive Parenting

Why did it matter so much to have a biological child? Would parenting an adopted child feel different? True, I wouldn’t experience pregnancy—but is that essential to being a parent? Is the parent-child relationship based on biology, or on the love and connection formed after birth?

We were also anxious about how our extended families would respond. Would they accept our child and love him unconditionally? Would they compare him with other biological children in the family? One couple told us their parents didn’t want them to adopt because they didn’t want the family property to leave the bloodline.

Such responses, rooted in social prejudice, miss the heart of adoption—relationship. Thankfully, both our families fell in love with our son within hours of meeting him. They no longer even think about the fact that he’s adopted. Like us, they chose love.

Bonding with My Child

I also worried whether I would feel that natural maternal bond. Would I have the instinctive connection mothers feel? What if I didn’t?

Someone once asked, “Do you think you’ll love an adopted child the same way you’d love a biological one?” I remember the words of adoption expert Dr. Aloma Lobo, who said,

“Being a parent is not biology. Being a parent is a relationship. Love is a decision—it grows, matures, and deepens over time.”

That made sense. We met other couples who had adopted, and their stories gave us courage. One couple, Sheeba and Biju, shared their journey—and it left a deep impact on us.

Sheeba & Biju’s Adoption Journey

We were childless for 12 years when we decided to adopt in January 2009. Although the mountain of paperwork and background checks was intimidating, emotional support from friends and adoptive parents gave us hope.

But truly, our journey began in 1997—just after our marriage. Biju was on a work assignment in Pune, and I traveled from Bangalore to meet him. My train unexpectedly stopped at a remote station called Daund. Stranded and unsure, I felt lost. Meanwhile, Biju, waiting at the Pune station, took a local train to find me.

That night we were confused, but years later, we realized that our journey to adoption had started right there—at Daund, home of the Mukti Mission from where we would adopt our daughter, Ruth Ann Thomas, 12 years later.

In February 2009, we applied to Mukti Mission. We were told we were 25th on the waiting list. Even so, we felt a sense of peace. Our daughter was already born in our hearts.

The morning Mukti Mission received our paperwork, our family devotion happened to be about adoption. It read:

“Adoption was occasionally used by emperors to pass on succession to competent heirs. Emperors like Augustus Caesar and Trajan were adopted and proved to be great rulers.”

That evening, we received a call: our baby was ready! A home study would be conducted, and then we could bring her home.

On 1st July—Biju’s birthday and Daughter’s Day—we got a surprise call from Mukti Mission. It felt special. But nothing compared to 14th July, when we first held Ruth in our arms. Her tiny smile filled us with indescribable joy. Every day since, her smile reminds us that God answered our prayers in His own perfect way.

Waiting is never easy, but it’s often the best thing we do. Our daughter Ruth is a constant source of joy. Watching our bond grow has been the most beautiful part of our journey. She was born in our hearts.

"We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time and miles,
growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,
are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us
by God’s very own hands."
— Kristi Larson

Lessons in Love & Parenthood

Seeing Biju and Sheeba with Ruth was deeply encouraging. But adoption isn’t without its challenges. Parenting an adopted child is no different in terms of love and relationship—but it does require intentional preparation.

It’s important to talk to the child about their adoption story. Without thoughtful preparation, the journey can be difficult. With awareness and love, it becomes one of growth and healing—for everyone involved.

Adoption isn’t a cure for infertility or loneliness. It’s not limited to couples who cannot have biological children. It is for anyone who wants to love and raise a child.

Like marriage, adoption is a life-long commitment—“for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” For us, it was a journey of faith. We placed our fears and doubts into God’s hands. We believed that the same God who adopted us into His family would give us grace to love our child unconditionally.

The day my baby came home was wonderful, scary, exhausting, joyful—and completely life-changing. I can no longer imagine life without him. He was born in my heart.

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute—
You didn’t grow under my heart, but in it."
— Unknown

The Power of Positive Adoption Language

The words we use reveal what we value. Using positive adoption language helps us affirm that adoption is as valid a way to build a family as childbirth.

If you are considering adoption, take time to explore your motivations, prepare emotionally, and educate yourself. Adoption is a beautiful way to build a family—and love is what truly makes a family whole.