Choose Your Counselor Wisely

“What has my life come to that I have to sit before a counselor?”

This was the question an educated bank employee asked when he first came to me for counseling.

He had been sent by his family members and considered “meeting a counselor” the worst thing that had happened to him. It took two sessions for him to feel comfortable and at ease enough to return regularly.

Over time, he began faithfully calling to schedule his appointments, as he found the sessions extremely useful and therapeutic. After spending nearly 18 months working with him and his wife, they are now living together as a happy couple.

The stigma surrounding counseling has destroyed many families in India because they did not seek timely help.

Choosing a Counselor Wisely

While I often recommend that people seek help through counseling, I would also advise you to exercise discernment and caution in choosing the right counselor or center.

I share this with some reluctance, as I do not wish to appear as though I am recommending one over another. However, it must be said that there are many commercialized counseling centers today, each operating from varied belief systems.

A counselor’s belief system or personal agenda can, at times, influence the counseling process. For example, if a counselor or center is strongly driven by specific social, ideological, or religious agendas, it may unintentionally result in bias, where one party’s perspective is overlooked.

Similarly, if a counselor does not believe in the permanence and sanctity of marriage, such beliefs may shape their approach to marital counseling.

Our Belief About Marriage

We believe that God is the institutor of marriage, and that marriage is sacred and worth fighting for. We believe that even the most broken marriage can be restored through God’s mighty power when couples surrender their lives to Him and His purposes.

We have personally witnessed marriages—once given up on by professional counselors—being restored because of a genuine change of heart in one partner.

That said, there are situations where separation or divorce becomes the path a couple chooses. We must not condemn those who take that route. However, because of our belief system, we rarely give up on a couple. For us, success is measured by restoring a relationship to what God intends it to be.

The Home Shanti Helpline

The Home Shanti Helpline, featured in this issue, is a network of counselors who believe in the institution and permanence of marriage. They are carefully chosen and committed to doing their best to restore relationships. Individuals become part of this network only if they subscribe to this shared belief system.

Take the First Step

Choosing a counselor wisely — and choosing one promptly — is key when seeking help.

I hope this article helps clarify what counseling truly is — and what it is not. May God guide you to take the first step toward seeking answers. After all, no one cares more deeply about your struggles than God, who is the Wonderful Counselor.