Parental Support When Exam Fever Rages

The Tragedy We Keep Seeing

Open the pages of the daily newspaper, and you’ll often find distressing news—yet another suicide of a young student, overwhelmed by exam stress and poor results.
Another life snuffed out in its prime. How tragic—and how unnecessary.

God has entrusted us, as parents, with the awesome responsibility of caring for His precious creation: our children and the elderly. The family is a microcosm of society. What happens in individual homes is ultimately reflected in the larger social fabric.

Our Responsibility as Parents

So how do we discharge this sacred responsibility? As human beings with feet of clay, we will sometimes go wrong. But we must learn to pause, reflect, and ask where the problem lies—before it’s too late.

Caught in the rat race and obsessed with acquiring wealth and prestige, we often fail to notice the silent cries of our children right under our noses. We forget the immense pressures they face—academic competition, peer judgment, limited opportunities, and rising job uncertainty.

Parents, please don’t add to their burdens by expecting grades beyond their capabilities.

Growing in Acceptance, Not Rejection

You can’t build a bond with your child overnight. It takes time, trust, and understanding. As the saying goes, “Human beings, like plants, grow in the field of acceptance, not in the soil of rejection.”

Some parents sacrifice a great deal to give their children the education they themselves missed. But when expectations are unrealistic, disappointment and pressure often push children toward anxiety and even despair.

A True Story from My Neighborhood

A fruit vendor and his wife, who supplied fruit to our building, worked tirelessly to educate their three sons. Their dream was to see all their boys become schoolmasters in their village. The older two succeeded. But the youngest son struggled.

I often saw the parents berating him for failing his HSC exams. The boy was clearly slipping into depression. I prayed for wisdom and gently reminded them that every child is different. They listened. Two years later, they returned, beaming—the boy had passed his exam and was preparing to be a schoolmaster too.

Don't Let Your Ego Ride on Your Child’s Achievements

Beware of letting your own identity hinge on your child's success.

Anil, a corrupt government official, used bribes to get his son Ashok admitted to an engineering college. The boy failed repeatedly. The constant criticism from his father became unbearable. One day, after being urged again to "study hard," Ashok took his own life.

Success Comes in Many Forms

History is full of high achievers without formal degrees:

• Bill Gates and the late Steve Jobs were college dropouts.

• Sachin Tendulkar never attended college.

Academic failure does not mean life failure. Likewise, many top scorers don’t necessarily thrive in the real world. Some lack emotional intelligence or social skills and struggle in relationships or work environments.

My husband, Nelson, an IIT graduate, recalled a silver medalist who suffered a breakdown. He had memorized his way to a medal—but at what cost?

Let Talents Shine Where They Belong

Children shouldn't be forced into streams that don't interest them just because parents are footing the bill.

Take Rohan, a doctor who dreamed of passing his clinic on to his daughter, Avanti. But her heart was in fashion design. After many arguments, her mother intervened. Today, Avanti is a successful designer.

My son Aloke studied production engineering but found his passion in IT—and now enjoys every day at work.

Breaking Old Mindsets

Parents, beware outdated assumptions. When I was young, only science students were considered "bright." As a humanities student, I was often dismissed—even by my own mother. Thankfully, my father believed in me and encouraged my creative talents.

Stay updated on new career opportunities. This knowledge can help guide your children more wisely.

Every Child Is Made for a Purpose

My cousins, Roy and Sybil D’Gama, have a mentally challenged son, Savio. Aware of his unique needs and talents, they started an NGO called Atmavishwas to empower youth like him. Their workshops in Mumbai and Goa teach skills like card-making, embroidery, and creating comfort items for cancer patients.

Their story is a powerful reminder: empowerment comes from within.

Final Thoughts for Parents

Teach your children that failure is not the end—it’s a stepping stone.
As the old saying goes: “Six times down; seven times up—such is life.”

Remind them that God, the Master Craftsman, has uniquely designed each of us with a role to play. Not everyone will be a star performer; some serve quietly behind the scenes. But all are vital.

Above all, impress on your children that exams are not the end of learning. Encourage them to:

• Stay curious

• Think creatively

• Keep learning, beyond books

In the end, exams are not the be-all and end-all of life.

About the Author

Ms. Monica Fernandes is a freelance writer for various publications. She is the author of Towards a Fuller Life, a book for teenagers published by Better Yourself Books.