Siblings without Rivalry
A thoughtful review of a parenting classic that helps reduce sibling rivalry and build cooperation among children—featuring real-life insights and a must-read book recommendation for busy moms.
Authors: Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
I began reading this book when my second child was just a few months old, and my daughter was three at the time. The insightful tools and ideas it offers for building cooperation among siblings have been a great help to our family. Even today, I find myself flipping through a chapter to refresh my memory whenever a challenge arises. The easy-to-read format and endearing cartoons that further explain the concepts make it especially accessible—particularly for busy mothers of young children.
What truly blew my mind was the realization that every comment made by a parent, however small, can either help diffuse sibling rivalry or fan its raging flames. Our words should be like a magic canvas upon which a child cannot help but paint a positive picture of themselves. The chapter on the roles we cast our children in is particularly thought-provoking. The final chapter includes many poignant stories about how sibling rivalry can leave lasting effects well into adulthood.
The only part I disagreed with was the advice to use a doll to vent angry feelings. Otherwise, the book is an excellent parenting manual—one to read and reread until this new way of communication becomes second nature. I would also strongly recommend the companion book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by the same authors.
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