A One of a Kind Journey Called Parenting the Toddler Years

Parenting is a journey like none other. Even though countless parents have gone before you, your journey is unique—one that no one has ever lived before and no one ever will. What an opportunity it is to embark on this one-of-a-kind journey of a lifetime!

I began my parenting journey six years ago. Today, I am a mother to a six-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. This journey has been tough, but every step has been a learning experience. Once you become a parent, you must be ready for the fact that things will probably not go as planned.

The first few months after my daughter’s birth were extremely hard. She cried throughout the night until early morning due to colic. Nothing seemed to ease her pain. I felt helpless, sleep-deprived, and frustrated, and most nights I cried along with her. Doctors told me this would last for six months, which felt overwhelming.

I found hope in my daily prayers. As an answer to those prayers, my daughter’s colic began to reduce, and by the time she was three months old, it had completely disappeared. However, the challenges were far from over.

While it has been a great joy to watch my children grow, reach milestones, and acquire new skills, I have faced several challenges—many of which I’m sure most mothers can relate to.

Handling Fussy Eaters

This is one of the biggest challenges for many mothers. My daughter disliked most foods, so I had to adopt various methods to feed her. Since she disliked milk, I offered alternatives such as cheese, kheer, shrikhand, and paneer.

The challenge becomes even greater when children are sick. I try to feed them small quantities at frequent intervals, but it is still a struggle. There is a long list of foods they dislike, but many of these can be prepared differently to make them more appealing. For example, I stuff vegetables into parathas or prepare them as cutlets. Both my children love dal, so palak dal is always a success.

Once, I told my daughter a story about Popeye the Sailor eating spinach to become strong, and how it could make her strong too. From that day on, she started liking spinach! Homemade fruit shakes are another way I ensure they get fruits and milk. I also add chopped dates to cornflakes instead of sugar, which they both enjoy.

My children loved feeding themselves from the time they turned one. It was messy and time-consuming, and what they ate on their own was never sufficient. I fed them alongside this process. A parenting expert once told me that allowing children to feed themselves helps them explore textures and tastes. Within a few months, they learned to eat well with much less mess.

Consistent Discipline

This is another area where many parents struggle. Discipline can be practiced through firm yet loving instruction. I have learned that consistency is key.

There are times when I ground my daughter for misbehavior or deprive my son of certain privileges for defiance—but only after repeatedly warning them. They know that their mother means what she says. The same consistency applies to rewards. If I make a promise, I ensure it is fulfilled. This has helped my children develop trust in us.

It is important for both parents to be consistent. Otherwise, children quickly learn how to manipulate loopholes. Once, I told my daughter she couldn’t go out to play because she had misbehaved. While I was taking an afternoon nap, she asked her father instead and went out to play. He was unaware of my instruction. The next time I disciplined her, she immediately said she would ask her dad. From one incident, she learned how to manipulate—and I learned not to leave loopholes.

Time for Yourself

When my children were babies, they were always close to me. Most of my day revolved around caring for them—comforting, feeding, cleaning, and nurturing them. This helped build a strong bond and trust, but it was exhausting.

Mothers need rest to meet the constant demands of parenting. One of the best ways to do this is to rest when the children rest. Since we didn’t have family or friends nearby, I arranged for domestic help to manage cleaning and household chores. Seeking help is better than doing everything alone and becoming overworked and stressed.

It also helps greatly when husbands share household responsibilities. Fathers can babysit while mothers take a break. My children love spending time with their dad because they enjoy fun playtime with him. A mother’s personal needs must be met; otherwise, frustration can spill over into interactions with children.

Nurturing Your Marriage

Nurturing your marriage is essential—for both you and your children. Parents often get so busy that they barely find time for each other. My husband and I realized that we needed to intentionally plan time together and commit to it.

Spending time alone as a couple strengthens the relationship and sets a powerful example for children. From my own experience, I know how important this is. I once had apprehensions about our marriage, and I thank God for my husband, who helped me work through them through many honest discussions.

Appreciating the Uniqueness of Your Child

Every child is unique, something I clearly see in my own children. My daughter loves being outdoors. She is introverted and sensitive, and she enjoys painting and dancing. My son, on the other hand, is outgoing and social, and he loves cooking.

Storytelling helps my daughter settle down at bedtime, but it excites my son and keeps him active. When it’s time for him to sleep, everyone stays quiet so he can calm down. When my son was born, parenting felt like an entirely new learning experience.

I realized that there is no “twenty-point manual” to becoming an ideal parent. We all learn as we go—and often from our mistakes.

Praying for Them

One practice I consider extremely important is praying for my children and praying with them every day.

I believe that, despite my best efforts, I have limitations. Prayer and faith are a powerful support as our children navigate the world. There are areas where I know I can do better. At times, when I am frustrated, I become irritated and take it out on my children—which I know is wrong.

Yes, we sacrifice time, energy, and even careers for our children, but parenting is our responsibility. We are stewards entrusted with their care, called to nurture and shape them into good individuals. I don’t believe I am doing them a favor—I am simply fulfilling my calling as a parent.

Principles That Have Helped Me as a Parent

From my years of parenting toddlers, these principles have helped me tremendously:

Be Creative

Whether it’s dealing with fussy eating or discipline, be willing to experiment and discover what works for your family. Don’t feel boxed in by tradition or others’ expectations.

Draw Clear and Consistent Boundaries

Set clear expectations—whether it’s putting toys away or finishing food. Explain the reasons behind these boundaries, be consistent, and support your children in keeping them rather than daring them to break them.

Take Time for Yourself

Being constantly with children without personal time leads to frustration. Take breaks without guilt. Choose activities that bring you joy—work, study, exercise, or meeting friends—and seek help and support whenever possible.

Invest in Your Marriage

When parents are constantly at odds, children feel the stress. Build your marriage intentionally and make space for your relationship in daily life.

Nurture Your Faith

Praying for and with our children helps us place our burdens in God’s hands. Faith sustained me during difficult seasons and continues to anchor my life.

Final Thoughts

Each parenting journey is unique. Never feel discouraged by comparisons or others’ expectations. Celebrate your journey as you continue striving to grow, learn, and become a better parent every day.