Is Your Child Your Own?

A friend of mine, who longed for a child, finally decided to adopt after ten years of marriage. During one of our conversations, he asked me a pointed question:

“Can you really say that your child is your ‘own’?”

For a moment, I was perplexed. But I quickly understood the depth of his question.

After adopting a beautiful child, people began asking him and his wife, “Is this your own child?” That question made him reflect deeply:
Does any parent actually "own" their child?

Stewardship, Not Ownership

When we buy a car or any object, we pay a price, and ownership is clear—no one else can claim it. But can the same logic be applied to a child?

Children are a gift from our Creator—not objects of ownership.
Parents are not owners, but stewards. And this perspective is crucial.

Trouble often begins when parents believe they own their child. They may try to shape the child’s life according to their desires—often using pressure or control to make that happen. This rarely yields positive results and, sooner or later, parents come to the realization:

We don’t truly own our children.

If anyone can claim ownership of a human being, it is the one who gives life—and the one who can take it away.

Children Come Through Love

Some children come into our lives through love-making, and others through love-choosing.
No child enters the world without the involvement of a father and mother.
Every child is born with a purpose—a purpose designed by God.

In God’s vocabulary, there is no such word as “orphan.”
Nobody is born an orphan. Some become orphaned due to abandonment or a lack of love and care from the very stewards entrusted with them. In tragic cases, this may happen due to the death of parents—but in a world filled with people longing to become parents, no child should remain unloved or alone.

Breaking the Stigma Around Adoption

The stigma around adoption often arises from the question: “Who does the child really belong to?”

If you’ve ever found yourself asking or influenced by this question, let me remind you—none of us owns our children. We all belong to God, whom I believe is the loving Father of all.

If we are recipients of God's love, we cannot withhold that love from a child who needs it.
Stories like those of Ms. Aloma Lobo, and countless children who’ve found homes and families through adoption, show us how transformational this love can be.

Final Reflection

Whether a child enters your life by birth or by adoption, the real question is not “Do they belong to you?”
But rather: “Can you love them, guide them, and steward their lives with grace and responsibility?”

Because in the end, none of us truly owns our kids—we are entrusted with their lives, and with that, comes a sacred responsibility.