My Son, My Guru

"Just treat him as a normal child."
This one sentence has guided me for the last 33 years of my son Abhishek’s upbringing.

Facing Life’s Hindrances

Life often presents obstacles. Some people remain stuck, brooding over their setbacks, while others gather courage, rise again, and overcome. It is the latter who emerge victorious.

It took me three years of crying and lamenting, trying to understand why we were faced with a situation we had no knowledge about. I still remember visiting my pediatrician with one burning question:
"How do I bring up a special child?"

Calmly, he replied:
"The only thumb rule you need is this—just treat him as a normal child."

This simple advice gave me direction. The real journey began when Abhishek was three. The first three years had been spent in denial, praying for a miracle to make him “normal.” And, in a way, a miracle did happen—the miracle of accepting our child as he was.

Lessons Learned from Abhishek

1. Life Is Never Perfect
   We often expect life to be smooth and constantly improving. But strength comes from accepting situations we cannot change, wholeheartedly and without resentment.

2. Patience Is Key
   Abhishek took time to take his first steps, to speak, and to eat independently. Yet, the joy and sense of achievement in these milestones were immense and immeasurable.

3. Unconditional Love
   Through Abhishek, I learned the true meaning of love—unconditional, without rules or expectations. Everyone, regardless of differences, deserves love.

4. Living in the Present
   We cannot control everything, but we can focus on what we can influence. We can ensure a life of dignity, choices, and love.

5. True Happiness Is Found in Small Things
   Though Abhishek may not read or write, he has a remarkable memory that preserves bonds and relationships formed through love and innocence. His presence reminds us to cherish the sweet corners of our hearts.

The Strength of Family

None of this would have been possible without the support of our family—my husband, my elder daughter, and her husband. Together, we navigated challenges and celebrated small victories.

Life, however, has a way of testing us further. Seven years ago, while returning from a holiday in Canada, my husband suffered a massive brain hemorrhage during the flight. We managed to get medical aid only after a five-hour delay in London. Despite 75 days of treatment at the best neurosurgery facilities, my husband passed away.

I was devastated. Our family was broken. But my concern turned to Abhishek—how would he cope with such a loss?

Abhishek’s Resilience

To my surprise, with the immense support of his wonderful school, Prayatna, Abhishek slowly accepted that his father was gone. Today, he tells visitors:
"My papa has gone up. This is my mom, and she is now mummy and papa!"

Abhishek embodies love. He bonds deeply with his sister Sonali and her husband Mahendra, showers care on his nephew Arihaan, and spreads joy to everyone he meets. He loves to dance, sing, and make others happy.

The Joy of Exposure and Choices

Taking Abhishek everywhere, exposing him to celebrations, experiences, and situations, has helped him become a happy, loving human being. We also gave him choices—what to eat, what to wear, where to go—which empowered him and nurtured independence.

Abhishek is not just a “special child.” He has made us special through his presence in our lives. I may not be the perfect mother, but Abhishek is my perfect son.