Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

We are all concerned about how we look, and we worry about what others think of us. But is this fear—this invisible force we allow to reign over us—keeping us from becoming all that we were meant to be?

“Will you come with me?”
“Where?” I asked.
“Up the drive. I can’t bring myself to walk up the drive alone, and you seem to know everyone.”

The fear I saw in her eyes at that moment will stay with me forever. It wasn’t that the driveway was a fearful place—it was simply the entrance to a well-known girls-only college. There was nothing sinister about it.

But it was lunchtime. The driveway was full of girls chatting, laughing, gossiping, and telling stories. What was so dreadful about that? Nothing really. Except that if you walked up that drive—your clothes, your figure, your hair, your shoes—everything about you was stripped bare in a moment. You were judged, dissected, and discussed by every group sitting there, all within earshot. No wonder my friend didn’t want to walk alone.

We’ve all experienced that fear at some point. Maybe it wasn’t on a driveway but at a birthday party. Maybe it wasn’t about what people actually said, but what you imagined they were saying about you. I’ve felt that same crippling fear, as I’m sure most people have.

We are all concerned about our looks—some more than others. It’s a widely held belief that beauty gets you further in life, and sometimes it may seem true.

In these days of recession and unemployment, we even read articles suggesting that attractive men and women rarely remain jobless. But while looks may open a door once in a while, it is talent and experience that secure a future. Let’s not forget that many of the most beautiful people have lived deeply unhappy lives, some ending their own far too soon.

Perhaps the blame lies with those fairy tales we grew up on—the flawless princess with flowing blond hair and the prince with a chiseled jawline.

A Generation Obsessed with Image

This generation, more than any before, is infatuated with image. While true beauty is everywhere, we’ve reduced it to being only skin-deep.

We want to look young even at 60, so we Botox.
We worry about flaws, so we lift, tuck, and nip in the name of plastic surgery.
At the very least, we rely on fairness creams or makeup to enhance our looks.

Are these things wrong? Is this a rant against cosmetic surgery? Not at all.

The point is this: do what you want, but don’t let fear be your motivator.

Freedom from Fear

Lance Wallnau, transformational speaker and author, once said:

“One thing I’ve learned as a speaker is this—the less self-conscious I am, the more powerful my impact. If we could completely lose the worry of what people think of us, we would risk more spontaneity, humor, and discovery. The less energy you have tied up in what people think, the more energy you can put into being authentic—and as a result, the BEST of you shows up. YOU have something original in you that is your unique factor.”

Fear cripples. It makes us inward-looking. Instead of blessing our friends and families with joy, we allow fear to silence us and keep us from being who we were created to be.

So, especially to the women reading this: don’t do what you do out of fear.

Embrace Your True Identity

You were specifically crafted by your Creator. He does not make flawed beings. Each of us is beautiful in our own way—and that is the only thing that truly matters.

We have a choice:

• Live by society’s rules and let them dictate our worth.

• Or live on our own terms, grounded in our God-given identity, and in doing so, challenge society’s rules instead.

Our lives are shaped by the rules we choose to follow. So choose wisely.

Embrace your flaws. Celebrate your uniqueness. Live free.