Equal Yet Different!

I had a strange visitor to my home in the early hours of the morning. It was Laxmi (name changed), who had left her home in the middle of the night after a verbal fight with her husband. When the fight became intense and turned physical, Laxmi ran out of the house around midnight. After wandering the streets for hours trying to locate my home—someone had told her that our home helps families in need—she finally arrived at 4:00 a.m.

Laxmi came in, crying and screaming. It was quite frightening. She was vengeful, angry, and visibly upset, desperately looking for an outlet to pour out her pain and frustration. I noticed she still had her office name tag around her neck. She was an IT professional and had been married for just over a year.

At 6:00 a.m., after the sun had risen, I went to meet her husband. What I saw shocked me. The house was in shambles—kitchen utensils scattered, pots overturned, glasses shattered, saris torn, the telephone broken. It looked like the aftermath of an earthquake, with their home as the epicenter. Despite their education and well-paying jobs, they couldn't manage their differences and had resorted to abuse and destruction.

Our response to situations often stems from our belief system and core convictions. When God created male and female, He created them with equal status, equal worth, and equal dignity. Both were made in His image, which calls us to treat one another with the utmost respect and value—recognizing that each person is a reflection of God Himself. To raise one’s hand against another is inhumane and a direct violation of God’s design and purpose for marriage.

At a family seminar we conducted, a senior manager shared the secret of his 25-year-long marriage with his colleagues. He recalled a piece of advice given to him early in his marriage:

“Treat your wife with dignity and respect. She has sacrificially left her home and family to be a part of your life. Treat her like a guest—with love and care—because one day, you will give an account to God for how you treated your spouse.”

This profound belief has helped him cherish and enjoy a healthy, lasting marriage.

Having a higher belief system based on the absolute standards set by the Designer of marriage is essential. Yes, anger and frustration will arise in human relationships—but building strong boundaries on a firm foundation is the key to a strong marriage.

In moments of uncontrolled anger, a simple but powerful mantra is to shoot a prayer to God and ask for His help to overcome the situation. Anger for the right reasons is valid—it's an emotion God Himself has given us. But the Bible reminds us:

“In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26–27)

Yes—don’t give the devil a foothold, or he will surely make it a stronghold.

_{All images used are for illustrative purposes only and have been sourced from Pexels.}