What Lies Beneath

“I’ve told her that if she wants to work, she can. It’s her choice. The kids and I really benefit from her being home — but it’s up to her,” said Santosh, avoiding his wife’s gaze.

Sheena looked at him anxiously, her wide eyes searching his face. She shrugged. “It’s not like I’m dying to work.”

“Go ahead, Sheena,” the counsellor gently encouraged. “You seem to want to ask him something.”

A Marriage at a Crossroads

Sheena and Santosh had been married for ten years. This determined and attractive couple had come for counselling, both willing to do what it would take to move past the sense of “stuckness” that had quietly crept into their lives.

After much hesitation, they had finally decided to meet a counsellor recommended by a mutual friend. It felt awkward at first — placing their marriage before a stranger. Even setting aside uninterrupted time without the children to simply talk to each other felt unfamiliar.

Life had become routine. On the outside, they functioned well as parents. But beneath that layer were Sheena and Santosh — once best friends who had slowly stopped sharing their dreams, needs, and joys. Talking about themselves almost felt selfish, like an unnecessary luxury.

That day, they began taking small steps toward expressing what they truly thought and felt.

The Question That Needed Asking

Sheena turned to him softly.
“Santosh, would you like me to work?”

This time, he met her eyes. It was a direct question — and she genuinely wanted an honest answer. He had avoided it for a long time, fearing it might upset her.

“Actually, Sheena… I don’t like the idea of you working.”

She bit her lip but waited. Earlier, the counsellor had emphasised the importance of listening fully without interrupting.

Santosh continued.

“Do you remember how I spent most evenings at my grandparents’ house when I was a child?”

She nodded. His parents both worked, and he had been dropped off at his grandparents’ home after school.

“I hated feeling like I was dumped there,” he admitted. “They were kind and tried their best. But I would count the hours until my parents came home. Sometimes it was so late I had already fallen asleep. When you said you didn’t mind staying home, I was secretly relieved. I wanted to come home to you. I wanted that security for our kids too. And you manage everything so beautifully — the house is always warm and welcoming. I never realised you might not enjoy it anymore.”

Sheena sat quietly, her heart softening.
He wanted to come home to her.

Finding Her Voice

The counsellor gently asked Sheena what stood out to her.

“I didn’t know you needed me that way,” she said, her eyes brightening. “I didn’t realise my being home reassures you. That feels good.”

Santosh relaxed. “Tell me what’s going on in your mind, Sheen.”

She took a deep breath.

“My mum was always home. It was comforting — but her entire identity revolved around us children. I sometimes felt even her marriage came second. And lately, I feel I’m becoming just like her.”

She paused.

“I do enjoy keeping our home. I love being here when you and the kids return. But at this stage of my life, I want something of my own — maybe a part-time job. Not because I reject our family, but because I want to grow. I don’t want my entire identity to depend on the children’s achievements. I want to feel whole — for me and for our marriage.”

A Moment of Understanding

Santosh gently touched her arm.

“Sheen, you are far more than a homemaker to me. I’ve always admired you for who you are. You mean the world to me.”

Tears filled her eyes.

The counsellor asked, “What are you both feeling right now?”

“Relief,” Santosh responded quickly.

“Hopeful,” Sheena whispered.

The Power of Honest Listening

The counsellor reflected:

“When you came in, the atmosphere was tense. What changed was that you truly listened to each other. No mixed messages. No blame. No defensiveness. You spoke honestly about your feelings and dared to be vulnerable.”

“Sheena, you recognised your need for personal identity — not in opposition to your marriage, but as a way of strengthening it.”

“Santosh, you expressed your deep appreciation for Sheena’s presence and the security it gives you.”

Marriage Is Active, Not Automatic

If marriage is truly about companionship, then couples must pay attention to each other’s needs, voices, and changes. This does not happen naturally. It requires conscious effort — unlearning, relearning, and discovering new ways to help each other flourish.

The counsellor simply acted as a catalyst, witnessing the transformation that happens when two people genuinely listen to each other as individuals.

Marriage is not just a milestone.

It is an ongoing interaction — two individuals bringing out the best in one another.

Working through differences takes time. Sometimes it is painful.
But when approached with honesty and vulnerability, it is always worth the risk.