'Till death do us apart' OR 'No strings attached?'

“Marriage is like agreeing to have dal chawal every day of your life. Monotonous and boring. I like to taste different foods and cuisines. I will choose whom to live with, sleep with, and when… I do not want to be tied down. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with one person? …Yuck!”

Tara expressed her views boldly to friends who admired her independence. She chose to live by her own rules while they succumbed to societal pressures. She enjoyed every pleasure the city could offer. Her high life was the talk of the college. Even her parents were ‘awesome.’ Though she stayed in a hostel most of her life, they let her do whatever she wanted and financed everything without questions. Life ho to aisi!

“Marriage is like agreeing to have dal chawal every day of your life. Monotonous and boring.”

Satya and Tara were best friends, but their lives and views were worlds apart. Satya lived a simple (‘boring,’ in Tara’s language) life. Her pleasures were a good book and coffee, outings into nature’s lap, good music, hanging out with friends at home or a coffee shop, or simply journaling and writing. Her parents were conservative, and she had to fight for her choices in career, independence, and equality with men. She refused to be her mom’s prototype or accept the idea that “men are a superior race and you better obey them.” It angered her to see women mistreated in any way. Patriarchy was something she was determined to tear down, brick by brick, as long as she lived.

Years passed, and Tara and Satya pursued their careers and goals, keeping in touch occasionally. Finally, they were meeting again—Satya was getting married!

“I will choose whom to live with, sleep with, and when… I do not want to be tied down.”

Satya had finally found her match and was ready for marriage. She had turned down many suitors because she wanted a man who would see her as an equal, respect her and her choices. She resisted marriage for the sake of pleasing family or society and refused to marry just for security or status. Now, she had found what she was looking for—companionship, mutual respect, and love; a relationship where both gave freedom and support to become all they were designed to be. Ritesh was no Mr. Perfect—they had their differences—but they shared a common ground of faith and beliefs and loved each other deeply. They dreamed of building a loving home where gender stereotypes were broken and their children would grow up respecting everyone as equals.

At their reunion, Satya took one look at Tara and felt she hadn’t changed. Tara still took center stage wherever she went and lived life to the fullest. She brought colour and music to Satya’s simple wedding celebration, and they danced and laughed just like old times.

“Patriarchy was something I was determined to tear down, brick by brick.”

The night before the wedding, they huddled together, exchanging stories from the years gone by. When Satya asked after Tara’s parents, the colour drained from Tara’s face—a sore spot had been touched.

After college, Tara had returned home and slowly discovered her parents had an ‘open marriage’—her mother’s companion was not her biological father. She was appalled. How could they do this to her? When they pointed out that her lifestyle wasn’t very different and they hadn’t stopped her, she lost her temper.

“She wanted a man who would see her as an equal, respect her, and her choices.”

“You are parents. You need to behave yourself. I respected you so much. Now I want nothing to do with you.” She walked out, but they continued to support her financially until she succeeded. Tara even tried to find her biological father, hoping meeting him would bring closure. But he wanted nothing to do with her. “No strings to tie me down. I want freedom, not family,” he had explained.

This was a painful secret in Tara’s otherwise exciting life.

“My child should grow up with me in a loving, stable home.”

She was certain she did not want to be like her parents to the child she hoped to have. Looking back, Tara realised that though her friends thought her folks were ‘awesome,’ they had little time for her and she was tossed around in their whirlwind lives. True, they offered every comfort and never disciplined her—but is that what a child needs? she wondered. Often, she had wished her parents would be there to celebrate small joys and cry over small disappointments—that she had someone to come home to, to trust. She never showed it, but she missed having them around as she grew up.

“I will be there for my child,” she promised herself. She loved children and wanted to be a parent. “My child should grow up with me in a loving, stable home. Would I want her to come home to different men in my life, wondering who her daddy is?” she thought. The emotional upheaval she had endured was something she wouldn’t want anyone else to experience, least of all her child. It still hurt that “they” had not thought of her when they made their choices.

“How can I offer a life of instability to my child when I craved stability all through my childhood?”

“How can I offer a life of instability to my child when I craved stability all through my childhood?” she wondered.

Maybe she wanted more than sporadic affairs for herself—maybe companionship, love, respect, and a home where healing could finally begin.

Satya’s wedding went smoothly. As goodbyes were said, Tara and Satya lingered, savoring their friendship. They had reached their destinations, and now, a new journey was beginning.