My Body is Okay

I was fortunate to have a mother who gave me “the sex talk” when I was a child. It made sense and cleared many doubts, but I still remember how strange and awkward I felt after hearing so much information all at once.

Growing up, I was very shy about my body. I wasn’t comfortable changing in front of my friends, let alone talking about my body or sexuality. It caused me a lot of stress. Over time—especially after my teenage years—I slowly began accepting my body. I started talking about sex with people I trusted. It no longer made sense to keep confusion and questions bottled up inside. When those layers of tension and misplaced shame began to fade, I felt truly relieved.

Building a Foundation of Openness at Home

As I became a parent, I wondered how to help my children grow up accepting themselves. I didn’t want them dealing with the anxiety and secrecy I experienced. I knew I needed to establish a strong foundation at home—a culture where they can talk about anything without fear, shame, or taboos.

If I want them to feel confident expressing their needs and asking questions, I must speak about their bodies, puberty, sex, and related topics without guilt, awkwardness, or judgment. My posture influences their comfort.

Our Own Comfort Matters

To talk freely with our children, we first need to be comfortable with our own bodies and natural sexual feelings. This often starts by having honest conversations with trusted people. When I met my husband, we discussed our views on our bodies, sexuality, and sex. I believe it’s important for parents to be aligned—knowing what to say and how far to go—so that we aren’t surprised by each other’s conversations with our kids.

How Do We Put This Into Practice?

I am still a learning, imperfect parent who makes mistakes every day. But here are some practical ways I believe can help:

1️⃣ Use Everyday Moments

Opportunities to teach come naturally—during bath time, diaper changes, seeing a pregnant woman, reading a story, etc.

2️⃣ Teach Accurate Body Part Names

Why teach my daughter what a nose is but avoid the names of her genitals?

Not naming certain parts implies shame. Without the vocabulary, she may struggle to express concerns or ask questions openly. Teaching medically correct names builds confidence and clarity.

3️⃣ Model a Shame-Free Approach

My attitude becomes their attitude. If I respond as casually as if they were asking about the weather, they will learn there is nothing embarrassing about their bodies.

Affection between parents also helps children see healthy intimacy. I’m intentional about showing my husband love around our kids.

4️⃣ Start Early

Children are never too young to begin learning. If they can learn “nose,” they can learn “vulva” or “penis.” Even a hug or kiss exchanged between parents in front of a baby models love and connection.

5️⃣ Let the Child Set the Pace

There is no need to rush into detailed explanations. A simple and honest answer is often enough. They will ask for more when they are ready.

For example:

• First question: “Where do babies come from?”
  — “They grow in a mother’s tummy.”

• Later:
  — “Mommies have tiny eggs and daddies have tiny seeds. When they meet, a baby starts to grow.”

• Eventually:
  — “The bodies of a mommy and daddy fit together in a special way so the seed can reach the egg.”

Short answers. No shame.

6️⃣ Go Beyond the Topic of Sex

Sexuality includes:

• Loving and valuing yourself

• Understanding emotions

• Respecting others

• Building healthy relationships

A Recent Example

Last week, I taught my four-year-old the correct names for her private parts while giving her a bath. I kept a normal tone though I felt awkward inside. She simply said, “Oh,” and continued playing.

To her, this conversation now holds no shame. She has vocabulary and confidence. I also explained that these names should be used privately—not in public—and only with trusted adults.

Personal Boundaries and Modesty

Teaching body acceptance does not mean allowing children to behave inappropriately. Modesty should come from confidence, not shame. Private parts are private because we value ourselves.

Teaching Safety and Self-Protection

I want my children to know:

“My body belongs to me. I am precious. I take care of and protect my body.”

We practice:

• Saying “no” to uncomfortable touch

• Walking away

• Asking for help from safe adults

As they grow—especially my daughters—I want them to know:

“I am precious. I understand healthy intimacy. I will choose wisely who I love with my body, soul, and spirit.”

Final Thoughts

Talking about sexuality is not a one-time conversation—it is a lifelong journey of building trust, openness, and confidence. When children are raised to love and respect their own bodies, they grow into adults who can love and respect others in healthy ways.