You Complete Me

Marriage can be such an eye-opener—about our spouse and about ourselves too. Many times, we wish our spouse was more like us and did things our way. Wouldn’t life be easier and more harmonious? If only God had created us as clones! But He didn’t, and for good reason.

She Says…

When Abhishek and I were married, it almost felt like an achievement! Society celebrates marriage as the next rightful milestone, but I quickly realized that the wedding day was not the destination—it was just the beginning.

Abhishek is a man on the go. His day feels successful if he’s completed the tasks he planned. A strategist at heart, he always looks at the journey before him, planning and organizing efficiently.

I, on the other hand, am reflective. I observe, then decide as I walk the road. At first, I tried keeping up with his “to-do” lists—learning to drive, budgeting, and buying gadgets. But soon, I grew frustrated. Why? Because I had my own list.

My way of loving Abhishek was by listening to his dreams and fears and supporting him emotionally. His way of loving me was by taking initiative and getting practical matters in order. Whose list was right? The truth is—both lists mattered. Together, they complemented each other.

Over time, I realized how our differences enriched our relationship. He runs, I walk. He’s the implementer, I’m the ideas person. He plans holidays, I plan surprises during the week. And in unexpected moments—like when he plays with our daughter while I do chores—we find ourselves content, borrowing a little of each other’s strengths.

He Says…

I agree with Stuthi—opposites really do attract. What amazes me is how couples often expect “compatibility” and then get disillusioned when faced with differences. The truth is, marriage requires us to expect and accept these differences.

We first realized how different we were during pre-marital counseling at church. Sharing our expectations revealed two very different people. But that helped us prepare for reality.

Over time, we’ve learned to let our differences complement each other. For instance, I’m practical about gift-giving, while Stuthi adds the warmth and personal touch through her words. I’ve also learned from her empathy in how I relate to people—something I often overlooked.

God’s design for marriage is wise. If we had married someone just like us, our lives would feel incomplete.

We Say…

Marriage is a journey of two imperfect humans coming together. Differences—whether complementary or contradictory—are part of that journey. They require mutual respect, space for individuality, and a willingness to find common ground.

Togetherness does not mean losing individuality; it’s about celebrating uniqueness while choosing to walk together. No couple can ever say, “We’ve arrived.” Instead, marriage is a continuous journey of growth, balance, and love.

This article was contributed by Ms. Stuthi Anne, a counselling psychologist and lecturer at a Bangalore college, and Mr. Abhishek Oommen, a telecom engineer working as a manager in a telecom company in Bangalore.