Quality comes from Quantity

Remember the Weeks Before Your Wedding?

You diligently planned your days so that you could spend every possible moment with your fiancé. How much time do you spend with each other now—beyond talking about household chores?

It was 11:30 p.m. when my mother interrupted me, saying it was too late and too cold to sit outside the house talking on the phone. I was speaking with my fiancée, Priscilla. Just a few weeks after our engagement, we made every effort to find time to meet and talk. In fact, we had mastered the art of using every opportunity that came our way to see each other.

Did this happen to you as well? I’m sure most of us have experienced this before our wedding. During that season, it was never difficult to make ourselves available for each other. Unfortunately, the honeymoon period passes very quickly. Once that initial bliss fades, challenges creep in as we focus on building careers, homes, finances, and raising children. The marriage relationship often takes a backseat, and many fail to recognize the need to rekindle romance. Time spent together becomes more about the administrative aspects of running a home (though necessary) rather than investing in quality moments that enrich and strengthen the relationship. Not spending enough time with each other is one of the primary reasons many marriages struggle.

Intentional Time

Good marriages don’t just happen; they are intentionally built. We realized that if we simply waited for time and opportunity to come our way, we ended up hurting each other by not meeting each other’s needs. We had to organize our time and make every effort to consistently create intentional, quality moments together.

Remember the days before your wedding? You managed your schedule, reshuffled work, grabbed last-minute opportunities, and even got the best “unlimited talktime” plan—just to be with your fiancé. Those were cherished moments! Today, however, many marriages get caught up in routine chores. The pressure of modern life, especially for working couples, puts immense strain on relationships. The need of the hour is for urban couples to consciously invest dedicated time in each other’s lives.

Quality Comes from Quantity

This may sound strange for business products, but it’s true in marriage: quality comes from quantity. We’ve learned that spending 30 minutes together may give us just 15 minutes of genuine quality time. It may vary for others, but one thing is clear—you cannot have a “2-minute noodle” romance.

Spending time together deepens love and strengthens the relationship. The key is to meet each other’s emotional needs, give undivided attention when discussing sensitive matters, and show genuine appreciation. Remember, your spouse is a priceless gift that God has given you. Cherish every moment with them.

Our Journey So Far

Having three daughters while both of us worked put a tremendous strain on our marriage. There were days and months that slipped by without meaningful time together. Slowly, we learned to ruthlessly manage and organize our time. Over the years, we have tried different ways to reconnect. The more we thought about spending time together, the more creative ideas we found. While many practices have been driven by love, there were times when we pushed ourselves deliberately to work through differences—and it worked wonders for us.

Here are a few of our “love practices”:

• At least once or twice a month, we go out on a Saturday for breakfast at one of our favorite restaurants.

• Occasionally, we meet for lunch on weekdays. Believe me, it’s worth the travel—it feels fabulous!

• Once in two months, we take a day off to watch a movie, go shopping, enjoy ice cream, and just be together. We call this “bunking home,” and it has given us space to talk about many important things in life.

• For the past two years, we’ve had “coffee in bed” after putting the kids to sleep—30 minutes of relaxed, agenda-free conversation. It has become one of the most romantic times of our marriage.

• We enjoy evening walks together.

• Praying together has blessed us deeply. We hold hands while praying and seek God’s guidance, knowing that He is holding our hands too.

• As much as possible, we do household chores together. This has created unexpected joy and greater love between us.

Learning Together

While we continue to learn from our own marriage, we have also been greatly blessed by the friendships of couples in our community and church. We’ve learned much from their experiences and applied principles that have brought rich rewards into our relationship.

About the Authors
Ms. Priscilla Christopher is a Social Development Worker, serving as a Sponsor Relations Coordinator in a Child Rights Organization.
Mr. Jerome Christopher is an HR professional, working as an HR Manager in a software company in Bangalore.