Coping with Change

Our experienced family counsellors answer your questions on relationships, marriage, and family.

Q1: Struggling With Career Dissatisfaction

“I’m a 35-year-old engineer, working for a reputed firm for close to 6 years. For the past year I’ve found my work a burden—it feels both uninteresting and meaningless. There is nothing specifically wrong; my performance has been quite good. Yet, I long for change, for something that will prove meaningful. Is it foolish to take risks? I also have a family to take care of.”

Firstly, your consistent performance and fairly long tenure at your workplace are definite strengths. I understand your dissatisfaction comes from much reflection over the past year. On one hand, you want to move on; on the other, you worry that taking risks could prove costly for your family.

At some point, many people ask similar existential questions, often stemming from a sense of emptiness in work or roles. You seem to need a challenge that makes life more interesting, enjoyable, and above all, meaningful. Another possibility is burnout. Long hours, redundancy, and strain can lead to the exhaustion you feel.

What can you do? Here are a few possibilities:

1. Take a Break – Sometimes the simple advice to “take a break” works wonders. Rest allows your mind and body to relax. It gives you perspective, helps you take stock of your life, and gives space to think deeply. Use the time to exercise, trek, or spend time with loved ones. Customize it to suit your style.

2. Find Meaningful Outlets – Explore activities like social service, writing, or painting. Give yourself time for things that bring personal meaning. This may open new avenues for discovery.

3. Explore Career Growth – Assess if there are opportunities to grow in your current organization. Review your career path, take on new roles, or try new responsibilities.

4. Consider a Career Change – If change is truly what you want, explore carefully. Identify what would be meaningful, list pros and cons, and minimize risks by testing options before making a final decision.

    

Finally, don’t be harsh on yourself. It’s human to make mistakes. The key lies in balancing calculated risks with living life more fully.

Q2: Adjusting to a New City

“My husband has been transferred to a new city. It’s been three months since we moved, and I find the change too much to handle. Previously we had a comfortable circle of friends, and my parents lived close by. Now the culture is so different, and I don’t know anybody. It’s taxing—shifting, rearranging the house, taking the children to school. It’s endless work and I feel lonely.”

The first few months after relocating to a new city can be extremely stressful. I see how overwhelming this has been for you, especially leaving behind the comfort of friends and family. Uprooting yourself often leads to insecurity, and it’s only natural to feel this way.

But remember—the human mind and body are highly adaptable. You are already showing courage by taking on so many responsibilities in this new place. As routines settle, household tasks become familiar, and your family adjusts, you’ll begin to feel more in control. Slowly, this city will start to feel like home.

Here are a few suggestions:

• Look for connections—perhaps a friend’s friend or an old classmate on Facebook.

• Strike up conversations with neighbors, parents at your child’s school, or other community members.

• Stay connected with family and old friends; invite them to visit or plan trips back home.

This season gives you an opportunity to build new friendships, widen your social network, and even discover new strengths in yourself.

Q3: Coping With Postpartum Blues

“I am a new mum, happy to have my baby boy. But during the first week after his birth I felt helpless. I cry for no reason. My little one is completely dependent on me. I love being there for him but feel exhausted—I’m nursing almost 24 hours a day! I’ve taken time off from work, but I feel guilty because I’m supposed to be happy, yet I’m not.”

More than half of new mothers experience “baby blues” (postpartum blues). Feeling overwhelmed and in tears during the initial weeks is normal. Caring for a newborn is both exhilarating and exhausting, and life takes on a completely new rhythm.

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Set Realistic Expectations – Don’t pressure yourself to be the “perfect mother.” Unrealistic standards can leave you feeling miserable or guilty.

• Seek Support – Talk to other mothers who have gone through this phase. Their experiences may give you perspective and encouragement.

• Share Responsibility – Don’t hesitate to partner with others in caring for your baby. Let your husband, family, or trusted friends help.

• Rest When You Can – Take short naps when your baby sleeps. It will refresh you.

• Care for Yourself – Exercise lightly, eat nutritious food, and take time for small breaks—a walk with your husband, coffee with a friend, or even 30 minutes of alone time.

Remember, this is just a season. Your baby will grow and become less dependent. Over time, there will be laughter, challenges, and joy. May your little one enrich your life and bring lasting meaning to this journey.